SO I ALMOST MARRIED A HIT MAN

By Greg Emerson

thedistresser1963@yahoo.com

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

I was breathing heavily through my nose and my stopped open mouth when Travis padded into my room. I tried to look casual but I felt like I was failing. My chest heaved, trying to catch my breath.
He picked up on my state right away; damn him!
His eyes twinkled.
"Been up to no good in here?"
I prayed he was teasing me and not really leveling a charge against me.
I only tossed my head again and shrugged.
He walked around to my side of the bed, looking around to see if anything in the room was amiss. The closet door wasn't quite as closed as before, but he'd have to have been extraordinarily observant to notice it.
He didn't.
He looked at me after surveying my bedroom.
He reached down with his right hand and brushed the back of it against my right cheek.
"You're breathing awfully hard," he observed.
I just looked up at him, the corners of my mouth pulled back by the tightly-tied terry cloth robe.
"Lauren?"
I swallowed-no easy task, gagged-and tilted my head slightly.
"Hunnnh?" I said.
He smirked, knowingly.
"I know you've been moving around in here. You're out of breath, hon."
I sighed and looked away.
"What have you been up to?"
I shot him a glare and tried to say "Nothing!" but it came out "Unn-een!"
He chuckled, either at my unintelligible speech, or my defensive response.
He sighed and softened.
"Well, I guess I won't worry too much about it. You're still taped, still gagged. That's the most important thing."
He smiled softly.
I rolled my eyes.
Suddenly, he reached down, curled a finger between the cloth robe and my cheek, twisted, and yanked the gag out of my mouth so that it rested at the nape of my neck.
Startled, I swallowed and tried to form saliva.
I looked up at him, licking my lips. But I said nothing.
This time it was his turn to be startled.
"You have nothing to say?" he said.
I narrowed my eyes and slowly shook my head.
He sat on the edge of my bed, placing his right hand on my right thigh. I jerked. The nerve of him!
"We're doing pretty good down there," he said. "Getting a lot of good audio. Brick attached a GPS to Battey's SUV yesterday before coming over here. So if Earl takes any trips, we'll be able to see where he's going."
Why was he telling me all this? To impress a girl?
I said nothing again.
He tilted his head. "You OK?"
I nearly laughed.
Finally, I spoke.
"You come up here…accuse me of mischief, then start telling me about your spy games downstairs, and then wonder what's wrong with me. You're un-fucking-believable, Travis. This is NOT normal, so quit trying to ACT normal!"
He removed his hand from my thigh, thankfully.
"Just trying to make conversation," he said, patronizingly. "Isn't that what you crave? Conversation?"
I tried really hard not to lose it on him.
"Look," I said, measuring my words. "What I CRAVE…is my freedom. I'm being held captive like an animal and it's getting REALLY old. But all you see is a girl in a bad mood and then wonder why. You're…delusional."
To my surprise, Travis agreed-sort of.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

"I guess I am trying to pretend like this is normal," Travis said, looking away. "But I'm not fooling you, am I?"
My anger lessened as he seemed to take a tiny bit of ownership over my feelings.
"No," I said softly, "you're not."
He looked at me, his eyes softer and his face warmer. It was almost-ALMOST-the Travis I remembered, before all this.
"But I haven't hurt you, have I? I've made good on that promise, haven't I?"
I smirked. "You want a star on your forehead?"
He shrugged. "Just saying."
I sighed. "You haven't hurt me physically, Travis." I didn't feel the need to expound.
He nodded, knowingly. He reached for the roll of duct tape on the dresser.
Gee, I wonder what he was going to do with THAT, I wondered ruefully.
Realizing my talking time was about to come to an end, I probed him about Earl Battey.
"So what did Battey do that was so bad?"
Travis picked at the end of the tape to start a new strip.
"You don't need to know. The less you know the better."
"Fair enough," I said, my eyes moving to the tape in his hand. "Are you going to kill him?"
I asked that question a lot easier than I thought.
He yanked a strip about six inches long from the roll and tore it off.
"Does it matter?" he said.
I licked my lips, then bit down on the lower one.
"Just curious. I've been wondering."
He looked at me, the strip of tape dangling from his right forefinger.
"Keep wondering then," he said, and grabbed the tape from both ends with his thumbs and forefingers, stretching it taut.
"Travis?"
"Yes?"
"Do you feel any guilt at all about what you're doing to me?"
I had to know.
He lifted the tape toward my face.
"Yes," he said, then he smoothed the tape over my mouth and pressed down, making sure it adhered properly.
I closed my eyes as he kneaded the tape over my mouth and cheeks. He peeled off a second strip and overlapped it over the first. Then he reached around the back of my neck and untied the terry cloth robe and placed it on my dresser.
He stood above me.
"Was that the right answer?" he said.
I looked up at him, blinking.
After a brief pause, I nodded, sighing through my nose.
He grinned, then turned on his heel and left me again.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

As soon as Travis left, I slipped off the edge of the bed and shoved the cell phone under my pillow, toward the headboard. I wanted it nearby, but I didn't feel it was safe to try again, just yet. Call it women's intuition.
Well, this woman fell asleep, anyway.
I hit the proverbial wall, and shortly after settling back onto the mattress I was in dreamland. The tape gag was more comfortable to wear because it didn't stop my mouth open and dry it out. Thankfully, Travis hadn't shoved a sock in my mouth in quite a while.
The more comfortable gag made me more comfortable in general, so I fell asleep rather easily.
I was still fast asleep when the men entered my room, because I didn't hear them at all.
I felt a nudge, and my eyes fluttered open.
Both men stood beside me, on the side of the bed.
Their presence startled me. I said "MMMM!" and my eyes flew wide open.
"Relax," Travis said, smirking. "It's only us."
Great, I thought. As long as it wasn't captors or anything.
He reached down and gently peeled my gag off.
I did the usual licking lips, working jaw maneuver.
"I have to pee," I said.
Travis sliced me free and within moments I was sitting on the toilet, in the bathroom adjacent to my bedroom.
I was hungry, I suddenly realized. It was nearly dinnertime-almost 5:30 p.m.
I'll offer to cook for them, I thought. That will buy me some time unbound.
I washed my face, my hands, and I looked at myself. I'd looked better. The modicum of makeup I put on earlier was mostly gone, but I didn't re-apply any. Screw it.
I swung the door open to see both men in the hallway, waiting for me. Something seemed off. They were fidgety. My mouth got dry and my heart started speeding up. I sensed something was wrong.
My eyes went back and forth between them, like I was at a tennis match.
"What is it?" I said.
The men looked at each other then Travis spoke, as the leader.
"Battey is on the move," he said.
My eyes kept going back and forth, waiting for the next part of this missive.
"The GPS has him heading north," Travis said.
Again I said nothing.
Travis sighed and said, "He's not just going to the store, Lauren."
Finally, I said, "OK. What does this mean? Just cut to the chase."
The men looked at each other again, which unnerved me.
"We have to move our operation," Travis said.
My eyes brightened and I said, almost gleefully, "You're LEAVING?"
"Well, yeah," Travis said.
I did a happy dance, right there in the hallway.
"She doesn't get it," Brick said.
I stopped dancing.
My mouth parted and I looked at Travis.
"I don't get what? What don't I get?" I said, my voice rising.
Travis didn't respond within a fraction of a second so I repeated, "WHAT don't I get? Travis? TRAVIS?"
Travis said, "We're taking you with us."
My eyes widened, my chest heaved, and I felt dizzy.
He did NOT just say that.
"No," I said, and then the word kept coming, louder and louder. It was all I could think of saying.
"I can explain," Travis said.
"NO!"
"Don't go nuts. Hear me out," he tried.
"NO!"
My hands were balled into fists at my side. I was blind with rage and anger and frustration.
"NO!!"
"Lauren, we have chloroform. Don't make us use it."
I swallowed and ran my hand through my hair, trying to compose myself. This wasn't happening.
Did he say, "chloroform?"
I looked at Travis. "No. No. No. You can't. You can't. You said you'd leave when you were done here. YOU SAID YOU'D LEAVE!!"
I was literally shaking.
"It's kidnapping!" I stammered, as if that was going to change their minds. As if they'd suddenly stop and say, "OH…kidnapping! Well then I guess we won't take you."
The word "kidnapping" didn't faze them in the least.
Instead, they approached me.
That was my cue.
I darted to my left, trying to elude the men so I could reach the staircase.
Brick grabbed at me but I broke free, racing to the stairs.
"Dammit," he said, and Travis made a funny noise.
I almost got to the first step when Travis wrapped a beefy arm around my waist and pulled me back.
"NO!!!" I screamed, using both my arms to try breaking free of his grip.
Brick had recovered and wrapped up my ankles in his Popeye-like arms.
I twisted and jerked, fighting like a crazy woman. Travis slid his arms beneath my armpits and now I was being carried, parallel to the floor, toward my bedroom.
I screamed bloody murder and tried to give the men the battle of their lives.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

It's simple physics-two burly, determined men will overpower even the most enraged woman, every time.
They'd proven it before, when they hogtaped me on my bed. And they were proving it again currently.
Despite my violent, fierce struggles, I was thrown onto the bed and Brick held my wrists down on either side of my head. He straddled me, knocking the wind out of me and thus curtailing my screams.
Travis was doing something.
I shook my head back and forth, growling. I tried bucking Brick off me, but he outweighed me by about 150 pounds, so that wasn't happening.
I kept saying "NO" like it was my mantra.
Travis HAD been doing something-he had been pouring chloroform onto a washcloth of mine.
He lowered the drug-soaked cloth toward my face. I turned my head sharply to the right, then to the left, then to the right again.
It didn't matter.
Travis still managed to clamp it over my nose and mouth.
I actually remember thinking, "So THIS is what chloroform smells like" as its fumes were inhaled into my sinus cavity.
It really is a sweet smell, as it's described in novels and movies.
It smells kind of like butter rum gone bad. If you can imagine such a thing.
The stuff was so strong that I could literally feel the fumes travel through my sinus cavity and into my chest.
Travis pressed the cloth over my face and I kept breathing it in.
Within about 30 seconds I could feel my legs turn rubbery, as if someone had let the air out of them.
My eyes were still open, so I could still see Travis's face as he kept the cloth pressed over my nose and mouth.
His expression was one of patience and calm. He knew the drug would do its job eventually.
The room started spinning. I couldn't really feel my arms or hands anymore. But it didn't frighten me. I knew what was happening to me. I didn't have a chance.
My eyelids became as heavy as iron weights. I didn't see Travis anymore-I saw blackness.
My breathing got shallow. The bed beneath me felt like it had taken flight. What a strange thing, I thought.
That was the last thing I remember.

I don't know if the drug's expiration caused me to awaken, or if it was the vibration and bumpiness that was jarring my body occasionally.
Regardless, I came to.
Not feeling too great, I might add.
I was nauseous. My head burned. My nasal passages felt like they'd been pried open like a tin can.
It was like a REALLY bad hangover.
I was lying on the floor of a van-a carpeted floor.
I went to rub my head but…where are my arms?
They took my arms!
No, they were behind me. My wrists were lashed together with tape.
My ankles were taped. The usual.
I licked my lips. I wasn't gagged, unbelievably.
"She's waking up," Brick said as he moved from the passenger seat to check on me.
My eyes fluttered and I looked up at him, lying on my right side.
"Where are we? Where are we going?"
My voice was thick and my tongue felt like it was made of felt. I coughed.
Brick kneeled beside me.
"Relax. We're heading north."
My head hurt so much I wanted to cry.
"Does it go away?" I said, wincing.
"Does WHAT go away?"
"The headache. Or my head, for that matter."
He nodded. "Yeah…it'll go away."
"When?" I wondered, impatiently.
"Soon," he said.
"Terrific," I said, and I blinked, trying to gauge my new surroundings.
"It's my van," Brick said. I noticed some of the gear was shoved into a corner, but not all of it.
"I feel like shit," I said.
"I know. That's the side effect."
I almost chortled. Side effect?
How about, THE effect?
Travis was driving, I surmised. Process of elimination, unless they'd picked up another jolly partner along the way.
The van had dark blue metal walls. The carpet was a worn shaggy type and it smelled kind of funny, like mildew. But it was better than lying on a cold, metal floor.
"How is she doing?!" Travis called from the cockpit.
"She feels like dog poo!" I answered for myself.
We seemed to be traveling awfully fast. I guessed we were on the freeway.
I looked at Brick.
"Where are you guys taking me?"
"Don't say it like that," Brick said, defensively. "We're on the move, following Battey. You're along for the ride."
"What is it with you guys and semantics?" I said, wondering if Brick knew the meaning of the word.
He gave no reply. Maybe he knew, maybe he didn't. Like it mattered!
I blinked some more, each blink making my world more in focus.
"This is kidnapping," I said, again invoking the K-word.
"Yeah," Brick acknowledged. "I guess it is."
I sighed. "You sound really scared about that."
"We have a job to do," he said, sounding like Travis.
"It's a federal offense," I said.
Brick just looked at me.
"Dozens of years in penitentiary," I piled on.
Brick pursed his lips and shrugged.
"And don't think that I won't press charges, because I will," I said.
Travis called over his shoulder, "Gag her!"
I rolled my eyes.
Of course.
Brick was holding a duct tape roll, which always seemed to be within arm's reach of these guys. It was amazing.
"Wait," I told Brick.
He stopped.
"Am I gonna throw up? Because if I'm gonna throw up, the last thing I want is tape over my mouth."
"You'd have thrown up by now," Brick said, as if he was suddenly an expert on chloroform recovery.
He tore off a strip of tape.
I groaned. Here we go again.
I was going to ask if I could sit up, but before I could get another word out Brick slapped the tape over my mouth. He only used the one strip, not that it really mattered. My lips were taped shut just the same.
"Is she gagged?" Travis asked.
"Yep," Brick said, moving back to his shotgun position.
"Good," I heard Travis say.
I narrowed my eyes at his back, pretending like my glare was a laser beam.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

We kept driving and driving. It was getting dark out, which meant it was around 9:15 or so. I lay on the floor of the van, bound and gagged as usual, and this was simply surreal at this point. Kidnapping me wasn't a big deal to the men. Not at all.
I was barefoot, of course, and I wondered if the men had thought to bring shoes with them, for me. Or more clothes. Or shampoo. Soap. Makeup. Underwear!
I groaned.
Finally, the van slowed, exiting from the freeway.
I sighed and closed my eyes.

We had pulled into a driveway, then drove another short distance. Must be in a parking lot of some sort, I imagined.
Then, the van parked. Brick returned to me.
Travis was already out the door and gone.
I looked up at him and said, "Mmmmm?"
"It's a motel," he said, picking up on my gagged question.
A light bulb went off above my head, so much so that I wondered if Brick saw it.
A motel? That meant…people! People meant…possible discovery! My stomach got butterflies with the excitement of such a prospect.
I had to pee again. Bad.
I squirmed and whimpered.
"What's wrong? You OK?"
I shook my head.
"Ammrum," I said through taped lips.
"What?"
I rolled my eyes.
"AMMRUM!"
Bathroom!
Brick peeled the tape away, just enough to expose my lips. He held it there, like a flap.
"What did you say?"
"Bathroom, you troglodyte!"
He frowned and pulled the flap of tape back over my mouth.
"No need to get nasty," he said.
I growled at him.
"You'll get to pee soon enough. Travis is checking us in."
Lovely.

Travis returned, then we were on the move again. I gathered he was moving the van closer to our room.
I was right. He parked and got out; moments later, the van's back doors were opened. I could feel the fresh night's air and I could hear the crickets and traffic sounds nearby.
I craned my neck, trying to see as much as I could of my new environs.
"I'll go unlock the door to the room," Travis said to Brick. "Then I'll prop it open and we can zip her inside quicker."
Not if I could help it, I thought.